I am sure you have heard the saying life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain. Lately I have had quite a few days where it doesn’t just feel like rain more of a torrential downpour! I know I am most definitely not the only one here having days like this, so that is why I wanted to share. Share not only what works for me, but truly share that it is ok to feel this way you aren’t alone.
It has been an eventful, chaotic couple months around here for me and my family. We have had more than a couple bumps, more like a few road blocks actually. That said, we are continuing to push through and coming out on the other end with a smile. A smile because we did it, a smile because we have each other, and a smile because we choose too-we choose to smile through it.
I have Stage 4 Endometriosis, had an ovarian mass removed this summer and going through a 6 month treatment currently. That in itself has been extremely hard, but more than anything it is teaching me how to persevere. Everyday despite how I may feel, I have a choice, a choice on how I will react. I sometimes need to give myself a little pep talk:) but I am going to always CHOOSE HAPPY. I have so many many reasons to choose happy in my life, most of all my family. Don’t get me wrong yes choosing happy is a choice but not an easy one. That said, it is ok to have bad moments, or even bad days. It is ok to cry and break down, but then you have to find the strength to get back up and pick up the pieces.
Initially, when I started my treatments I did not want to tell anyone, I didn’t want to even talk about it, I only shared with my family and my closest friend. As I got a couple months into it, I shared with some more friends one day. That is when I finally realized I didn’t need to be superwoman, this diagnosis and treatment doesn’t define me, and people care about me. I honestly never had given it any thought that it would feel so nice to know people are rooting for you. One of my concerns was I wanted nothing to change for my kids-I wanted my kids to look at me and think wow my mom is strong! So, I was on that superwoman path and one day my sister told me, maybe it’s ok if the kids think wow, life is tough and my mom is making through. She couldn’t be more right!
Today I am sharing more than I usually do, but I know that even if just one person reads this and realizes it will be ok, you aren’t alone, and chooses happy for even a moment, then it is worth it.